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Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

This movie is for Ancient Greek mythology, innumerable times worse than Frau Aphrodite giving the finger. And it gets worse every minute all along. It so bad, it’s not even funny. Percy comes from Perseus. I thought it came from Pepsi – at least that explains all the gas from my mouth during this puny-piece-of-shit movie. Well if the son o Poseidon is the every day loser given condolences from Hollywood’s industry, and Hermes’ son is a cutie playing Call of Duty, then the door of the Underworld is the door at a cinema near you. The elder centaur Chiron turns out to be a baby sitter whose undercover identity is being Stephen Hawking. And this is only the beginning for something I don’t even have neither the time nor the patience to criticize further. Only the costumes honour the ancient Greek tradition indeed by coming more like from an 80’s Greek production. I dread the little illiterate farts that will get to know ancient Greek mythology from this movie. I repeat: NOT EVEN FUNNY.