Cine Machine Gun

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FeardotCom (2002)

I fear that that this movie doesn’t even worth a dot – even worse, a whole review.
A haunted web site (!!!) drives mad and kills its viewers with an effect that looks like an Alien Disease Haemophilic Stroke backed up by Dementia Episode, because a psycho doctor (how original!) tortured and killed a girl many years ago, and still keeps doing it to others on camera.
A cheap rip-off of the “Ring”, executed in a tornado of visual mess with pretended atmosphere, shallow and colourless performances by Blade’s vampiric arch enemy and a next door scientific lady that probably would have been better as a wife than as a leading actress, a script full of over-preposterous contradictions, chaotic gaps and ridiculous inconsistencies, absurd plot points and story-unfolding and really unauthentic scares using pacing, angles and tricks that the average horror movie fan has been sick and tired of them many years now. The film colours and the initial development are pretty promising, only to sell you out pretty quickly afterwards, with a totally unconvincing story stuffed with the worst things imaginable which – by the way – neither can make any sense in a link, nor can be explained as stand-alone plot features. The villain is a mad, weakling, hilarious piece of shit that nobody knows how he stayed out long enough to commit so many crimes online, and the ghost drama – well this ghost (too hot to be dead mrs. Cukrowski!)has so many issues and so forced and deliberately complicated ones (yeah, that’s the real drama of wannabe “intelligent” films) that it would have been easier for it (and more logical to the viewer) to self-banish itself killing its nemesis with a psychic fart, than creating all this fucked-up-broken storyline of events.
Fear this movie beforehand people, because this is a horror flick that may not pull a scream out of you, but will definitely nail a fat headache in your scull.
P.S. Is that a Harley Quinn poster from the Batman comics, or that of a transexual Joker??

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